I've been thinking that it's been a long time since I've seen an ant
in the kitchen, so long that it must surely be ok now to put
ant-accessible food back out on the shelves rather than keeping it in
the refregerator, when lo and behold I see a little black ant
crawling around the sink edge. I mop it up and wash it down the drain
(my soul will burn in hell) and smirk that of course it isn't time to
leave food out. (Have found a larger black ant in the bathroom
recently but other than these two haven't seen any to speak of.

I have lunch outside on this beautiful day. A fly lands on the pork
fat I scraped off of my sandwich. I moosh it around with my fork,
gently. It stopped moving altogether. I lift it out with my napkin,
using surface tension. It is lifeless on the table. Did the pork fat
kill it? What does that say about Hormel pork roast? I laugh. It is
probable that my mooshing it caused it to drown in the fat juices but
I I like the other explanation better.

(And yes, I have felt chest pains after eating this pork (not today
but a few days ago) but my doctor says I'm ok so if I die, it's his
fault.)